The Ten
manmade CommandmentsOn Christian Music
[Please Note: The following 10 assumptions are satirical only]
I. The beat must not be dominant or too fast (cuz the
devil hideth among the hot and heavy beats).
II. It must not have syncopation (cuz the devil
ridethalong with glee on the irregular rhythms).
III. It must not be “rap” or “rock n’ roll” (or whatever is
new and popular).
IV. The music must contain no distortions and the electric
guitars must not squeal.
V. It should not make me want to dance like King David
for a Christian's faith ought not be emotional.
VI. The music must not be more dominant than the words
(but if it’s classical then it’s ok).
VII. You must be able to identify every word the first time
through.
VIII. The words must be straight from the Bible dictionary
(i.e. no “ooh”s, “ah”s, “la la”s, “sha na na”s, or “oh ya”s).
IX. You must not put religious words to a secular tune as
did that heretic Martin Luther.
X. It must sound “Christian” (to me that is).
“Their worship is worthless,
for they teach their man-made laws instead of those from God.”
Matthew 15:9
[A condemnation of music style is found nowhere in the Bible.
Whenever it is presented from a heart that honors God it is very good.]