My Story

 by Atom Biggs, November 2000

My father apparently found my name in a science fiction novel and liked it.  My mother was given the choice of either "Atom" or "Jesus Lucifer."  She chose well.  

MY CONVERSION

At age 13 "Jesus" became more than just an unsuitable name choice.  I accepted Jesus as my personal    Savior and friend.  Shortly thereafter I attended a private Christian high school where      numerous behavior rules were strictly enforced.  Along with many of the students I responded in an attitude of resistance toward this authority.  I pushed the limits as far as possible in my own quiet, introspective way.  I snuck rock music into my dormitory room just because it was forbidden.  The lyrics I poured into my mind slowly erased my passion for Jesus.   By the end of my Sophomore year I discovered with regret that the spiritual dimension of my life was almost gone.  One night I told God that if He wanted me to surrender up my godless rock music then He would have to give me an aversion to it because I liked it so much.  I spent the next year attending my hometown public school and trying to recover my close walk with God.  But my music continually tried to strangle my faith in Jesus.  Finally my love for God won out.  I became disgusted with this music because of its constant oppression.  My chains broke and I recovered that peace with God that I had lost.  

MUSIC IN COLLEGE

I chose to attend a Christian college that had a strong spiritual atmosphere but without such a legalistic bent.  My desire for ungodly rock music was gone forever now and I replaced it with classical music.  I also came to love the Scripture songs that some of my fellow classmates (and staff) played on their guitars.   We often sang these in our faculty home morning worships and around the campfire at night.  I found these Scripture songs spiritually energizing because they were so much about the God I loved.  

Now some of the campus guitar players tended to play with more of a lively rhythm than others.  I especially enjoyed these spirited songs.  However, it became evident that others didn't.  I recall singing traditional church hymns for morning worship in one faculty member's home while the adjacent apartment rocked with very rhythmic praise and worship.  I envied the group next door.  By the look on his face I could tell that my faculty leader did not approve at all.  

One eventful evening at a chapel service a faculty member demonstrated how rock music was invading the church.  He played recorded samplings of some modern Christian music groups that used a beat.  If the beat was subtle he would pound out the beat on a bongo drum for effect.  It was quite an experience.  I later asked him privately what made the beat wrong and exactly where you should draw the line.  He had no answer for me.

 

 

WHAT ABOUT THE BEAT?

By the time I graduated from college I had picked up guitar myself while playing for a youth group.  I traveled overseas a bit.  I played nightly for my Bible classes of high school students in Taiwan.  I played and sang daily with the polio children in India.  I found music to be a powerful tool in breaking down cultural barriers and in leading people into a meaningful worship experience.

 

When I returned to the United States I began to explore some of the modern Christian music that was considered "Christian rock."  I found much of it to be not only very spiritual but also extremely relevant to my life in general.  The big question that still lingered in my mind was, of course, what about the beat?  So as I listened to the music I had a lingering apprehension that something in this popular-sounding music might be inherently wrong.  So I dug into my Bible for answers while I continued to observe and ask questions.

Several things became increasingly evident to me.  First, I found that people who partook largely of a diet of Christian music, whether it was modern or traditional, tended to be very spiritual people.   Second, I found that there were as many manmade rules about what music was right or wrong as there were people that made them.  Third, after thoroughly searching the Scriptures I found support for none of these man-made rules.  I discovered that the Bible contains not a single word against any music style, sound, or beat.  On the contrary, the Bible spoke of praising God with "a new song," with "dancing," "shouting," and "loud noise."

Choosing to accept God's word alone for my standard, I began investing in more Contemporary Christian music.  I discovered a whole new world of styles and sounds.  I discovered a myriad of names like Amy Grant, Twila Paris, Acapella, Petra, DC Talk and Steve Taylor.  Examining the lyrics closely I found them all very much in harmony with Scripture, some of of the lyrics were subtle or symbolic, others more overt and in-your-face.  Not only did I find the music both enjoyable and meaningful, but God used some of the songs to carry me through some pretty rough spots in my life. 

MUSIC MINISTRIES AND CONFLICT

My new wife and I soon found a church that incorporated contemporary praise and worship music in their main service.  We really enjoyed it.  I thought, "Here is a church where we can bring our friends."  I started a large contemporary music and video tape library for church members to use each week.  I eventually became the leader for church youth ages 10 to 13.  I found many of them complacent and apathetical about their faith.  Most of them came to church because they were forced to.  So I looked for ways to make a difference.

I decided to take a music interest survey.  I found that 20% of the kids usually listened to Christian music and the rest listened to the teeny bopper pop-rock station (music whose lyrics I knew were working to undermine the faith in God that I was trying to build up in these kids).  So I saw that as a prime opportunity to usher in something better.  I surveyed the parents to see if they would support a weekly music spotlight of contemporary artists and received approval from 9 out of 10 parents.  So I went all out.  For one year I provided these youth with exposure to a variety of Christian musicians and encouraged them to make godly choices.  I gave away free tapes and CDs.  I showed Christian music videos each week.  I invited the kids to Christian concerts.   I even formed a kids' band from the musicians in our group.  I did everything I could creatively think of to lead the kids into a joyous Christian experience.  Slowly I began to see changes.  The apathy disappeared, class spirit soared, my class doubled in number and by the end of one year 80% reported that they listened mostly to Christian music.  I was ecstatic!  Unfortunately I had forgotten to take one thing into consideration -- the 10% of parents who didn't approve.  

One parent in particular made it a point to visit my class.  Every time the subject of music came up she would angrily express her disagreement with contemporary music.  I tried in vain to reason with her and even made some concessions in her behalf because I didn't want her to remove her sons from the class.  Another parent who disliked the music called me up and said she didn't care that the music was ministering to most of the class, she didn't want her kid exposed to anything that sounded like rock music.  

 

I was called into the pastor's office.  He was experiencing similar conflicts in the main service from a few church members who disapproved of the contemporary music format.  He said he could relate to what I was going through but that he already had enough problems to deal with.  He asked me to put a stop to my music ministry.  I was devastated but I complied.  I stopped the music spotlight, pulled down all the music posters, and toned down my music focus. 

A CHURCH SPLIT

Conflicts continued around the main adult service.  The contemporary format was a drawing card for many people and the church was packed every week.  However, some of the congregation struggled with the new songs, sounds, and loud volumes.  These had always been issues with some, but I think it kind of came to a head when the worship team incorporated a drum set.  The pastor was in a dilemma.  He took a vote among the congregation and asked them to write down "Drums" or "No Drums."  117 out of 120 responders voted in favor of  "Drums."  But the tension was apparently too much.  Those who disliked the worship format departed to worship elsewhere, the worship team left to form a new church, the pastor  resigned, and many members just stopped attending.  This once thriving assembly was reduced to a little flock.  All of this because of differences of opinion about music style.  That was 3 years ago.

Prejudices toward modernization of music still exists in many churches.  Just last week my wife preached in a small country church.  I played my guitar for the youth service and they were ecstatic, raising their voices loud in praise and worship.  I then played for the adult service in a more toned down manner.  The adults also joined in with gusto singing, "Lord, I lift your Name on high... Lord, I love to sing your praises."  However, at the next board meeting two individuals objected to having a guitar in their church.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED

I have learned several things from my experiences:  

1)  Contemporary Christian music is not for every person.

2)  Today's culture is changing with such rapidity that the church at large is having a hard time knowing how to respond, especially in the world of music. 

3)  Very strong feelings exist among some Christians against modern Christian music. 

4)  A majority of Christians want some kind of rational explanation of what the issues are all about. 

5)  When working with youth you are working with their parents too.

 

In response to the church tragedy that I experienced I have attempted to put together a rational, Christ-like defense, of modern Christian music.  I first published a small booklet in simple question and answer format entitled, Contemporary Christian Music: What Is It?  I then placed my booklet online and have been adding material ever since.  My purpose is not to convince those who already have bitter feelings against CCM and are decidedly against it.  Instead I am hoping to reach the majority caught in the middle who have a basic understanding of the issues and who are wanting a more rational and level-headed understanding.  If this is you I hope it serves it's purpose.  Please email me and let me know if this has been helpful.

In His last prayer with His disciples Jesus prayed that His people would all be unified, just as He and His Father were as one.  It is my prayer that God's people will learn to put aside their petty differences so they can move forward in unity under the banner of the blood of Christ.  We have one message to preach: the everlasting gospel of Christ and Him crucified.  There is power in His blood.

Atom      email me                                        CCM World Home Page